Tuesday, May 1, 2012


    Sometimes it has been raining all day but stops just in time that your nine year old's evening baseball game
isn't cancelled. So you pack up all of you kids including the six month old baby who hasn't had a complete nap all day because your four year old needed something at the top of his lungs every single time her eyes got droopy and head to the baseball field where it is a little chilly and a little damp and your kids are suddenly starving and need something from the concession stand even though you made them eat before you left the house. Sometimes you use this desire to bribe them in to behaving like nice little children instead of the wrestling little monsters you see rolling around on the ground before you.  You quickly realize you've wasted a bribe because the hot dog isn't even half way gone when they are back at it again.  You can't tell how long the baseball game is taking because it feels like an eternity due to the fussy baby in your backpack carrier, the constant reports that your four year old bit/kicked/jumped on/slapped your seven year old and, whoa ho, wait, what is this?? He pulled down his pants in front of a group of kids.  Why would he do that?  He wanted to pee while jumping off of the picnic table(at least that is the story your seven year old gives you because she doesn't want her curious girlfriend from school to get in trouble for asking him to pull down his pants).  Sometimes you realize you cant take your eyes off your kids for a second so you make them stay right next to you until the coaches notice it is dark out and let you go home or the game is complete.  You instantly regret insisting your kids be so near you because you'd like to ignore them beating each other up and that is really difficult when they are only a foot away from you.  Sometimes you tell your kids they will never come to a baseball game with you ever again if they don't knock it off and they say "Don't leave us home with Daddy", as if he is some sort of maniac even though he is a complete pushover cupcake. But the game is over and you go home where no one can seem to remember how to brush their teeth or put their pajamas on.  Sometimes your husband comes home from picking up his brother from the airport because he is going to be living with you during his summer break and you had wanted to give him a warm welcome but all you could muster up was a weak wave while ushering kids to bed.  Sometimes you are shuffling to your bedroom with a squirmy, overtired infant when you remember the elementary school is doing a reading contest that involves parents reading with their children every day so you do an about face, go back to the kids' room and read to the kids.  Then you nurse the baby to sleep while your husband goes in to say "Goodnight". Sometimes he comes into your room and asks if you were listening to his conversation with the children which of course you were not because you've heard quite enough for one day.  So he tells you what they said.  He, your husband, was explaining to your seven year old daughter that there are military bases all over the world and your nine year old son interjected, "Yeah, there is even one up my butt".  And sometimes, it is all funny again.

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