Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Moving Forward

     The only thing constant is change said somebody sometime.  That is one of those statements that will drive you nuts if you think about it too much.  This picture of Dorothy was taken two days ago as we changed to a new season (three cheers for fall!).  This picture was taken moments after Dorothy changed everything we know by taking her first two steps.  Now we are no longer the Jones family with a ten month old crawler.  We are the Joneses with a ten month old who is learning to walk.  It will never be the same again.  Why, it has already changed again.  Today Dorothy took FOUR steps.  Now we are the Joneses with a baby who has walked a couple of times, not just taken her first steps AND she'll be eleven months old in three days.  So many times since I have become a mother I have said, "I wish I could freeze time now", "No, NOW", "O.K., Really, NOW".  At this point in my life though I am finally able to calm down and stop trying to hoard moments.  (If only you could have known me during my Enzo's Baby Book days, what a lunatic!)  I've had enough greatest moments of my life to realize if one great moment passes, if my idea of perfection shifts and changes, it is just fine because another greatest moment ever is sure to come eventually with a new definition of complete bliss.  I first learned this lesson with clearance sales, spending loads of money on things I might want someday and definitely didn't have room for because I would never get a deal like that again, which turned out to be total b.s.; there is always cheap crap to be had... Anyway, I was able to apply the same thought process to my life and I am surprised to find myself enjoying it so much more as I let it happen and then slip away.

     This is much heavier than I like to get and I've given myself a headache, or maybe it is the gallon of bleach I just poured all over the bathroom because the toilet overflowed.  Now THAT is a moment I was excited to get behind me even as it was happening.

     Until next time, when things will be different from now...

Monday, September 24, 2012

Our New Favorite Color is GREEN

Oh Mister Sun
Mister Golden Sun
Please shine down on me!
Oh Mister Sun
Mister Golden Sun
Hiding behind the tree...
These little children are asking you
to please come out so we can play with you
Oh Mister Sun
Mister Golden Sun
Please shine down on me!

There she is folks!  The Jones Family's very first solar panel (being installed by Mr. Jones and Marley).  
Isn't she beautiful?

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

The Call I Was Dreading

     I've made peace with Enzo, Clara, and Aston being out of the house by rejoicing in Dorothy's ability to take a complete nap in our quiet house.  Today, however, Aston managed to disturb her nap from school.  I had just put Dot in bed, made my way to the kitchen, put the stopper in the sink, when the phone rang.  Wasn't it the school nurse telling me Aston was having a horrible morning and crying for his mommy.  Talk about a broken heart!  Aston must have felt REALLY bad.  He never calls me mommy!

     I took Dorothy out of bed, mad at myself for being annoyed with poor helpless Aston for making me do it, and went to rescue my little boy.  Oh, the guilt that came over me.  Why, why, WHY didn't I follow my instincts and send him to a nice half day preschool this year instead of kindergarten.  I can count the number of times he's been with someone other than Ariel or me on my fingers and even then it was a grandparent, aunt, or uncle.  Of course a full day of kindergarten is too much for him.  I remembered his tiny voice telling me just the night before, "I hate school.  It is such a big, big day and I miss you".

     When I saw his itsy bitsy self sitting at a table in the nurse's office I felt as badly as I ever have.  Then he looked up at me with a splotchy red face absolutely soaked in tears and I knew there is a special place in Hell for me because I have allowed my child, my child I am supposed to take care of, feel afraid and upset.

     I tell you, I do not know what to do from here.  I've been attacking this issue from a couple different angles. Firstly, I gave him a laxative.  This may sound a bit bizarre but that kid gets all out of sorts if he is backed up.  Secondly, I asked Aston about what was making him upset.  As with every conversation with Aston, I ended up having to hide a chuckle or two.  The school has a color coded behavior chart; green, you're good; yellow, you need to watch it; red...the seat in Hell next to mine might be for you.  After asking me if playtime was fun when I was a kid Aston exhaled, "The real problem is that staying on green is exhausting!"

     Aston says he wants to earn a prize from the treasure chest in his classroom so I'll try sending him back tomorrow but I'm not convinced he is ready for this... What doesn't kill him makes him stronger, right?  I just don't know if I'm strong enough to sit back and let him get strong.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Sooo Not Where I Was Going!

 I was helping Baby Dorothy walk outside to where her brothers and sister had set up a little pop up tent community.  It was a crisp and beautiful day disturbed only by the viscous snarls and harsh words my little darlings were hurling at each other.  "What is the matter?" I sighed, not really caring what their answer was because I could tell from across the lawn their answer would be of the He looked at me!!! variety.  I switched the settings of my brain to the one that allows me to take three simultaneous strands of whining, crying, growling, and grunting, separate them into three individual monologues and comprehend them.  After I had it all sorted out I explained that they are siblings, flesh and blood, and that is far more important than any material thing on this planet or any other.

     I knew not to expect my desired results to play out; hugging, apologies, wiping away each other's tears, professions of love, that sort of thing, so when the only response I received was Clara asking how their flesh was the same I wasn't blown away.  "You all came from the same two people so lots of the information in you is the same, even things you can't see.  Maybe you won't see that similar information unless one or all of you decides to have children of your own some day.  Like Enzo has Uncle Steven's chin and Aunt Janelle's feet.  When you look up one of your eyes goes left and one goes right.  Aunt Alyssa has those same crazy eyes.  Your teeth are just like her's too.  Someone in the family we've never even seen must have had blue eyes with a yellow ring around the pupil, like yours.  Your face is shaped like your father's father's..."

     Enzo interrupted me with, "Scott?"


     "How are we related to him?" Enzo asked in utter astonishment.  The kids and I have never met Scott.

     "He is your father's father.  Your grandfather"

     "Yeah but him and Yang were divorced before we were born".

     "Doesn't matter.  He is your dad's biological father so you're biologically related.  Anyway he and Yang were never married so they technically never divorced".

     "WHAT?  Then how did they have dad?  Did Scott, like, donate a piece of hair so they could use his DNA?"   The fact that last year he attended the wedding of my mother and the father of her fourteen and eight year old sons must have escaped him.

     "No Enzo, Scott wasn't a stranger.  He and Yang just didn't get married".

     "Am I old enough to know how it is possible for me to have both your's and Dad's DNA in me?"

     "Absolutely not.  But when you are you'll understand how Scott can be Daddy's dad".

     "What I really want to know is how they extracted Dad's DNA in the first place..."

     At this I turned and left to streaks of fire in the lawn as I ran from where I had been standing to the front door which I slammed behind me.  Not today, my friend.  Not today.    

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Train of Thought

     Ariel ran out of materials on a job midday so he came home.  I am pleased to say that after spending half of our lives together I am still thrilled when I see his truck pull in the driveway.  We shared a simple conversation about our mornings.  He told me about work.  I told him about taking the baby for a walk.  I had wanted to go for a good long walk, it was such a perfect day, but she fell asleep so quickly and I'm so backed up on house work that I only made it to the neighbor's house before turning around to come home.

     "Like that?" Ariel asked, looking at my attire.

     "Yes" I said.  That yes was like a gun shot beginning a race of thoughts in my mind.  I stood there silently, maybe I looked furious ( I certainly felt that way), maybe there were puffs of smoke coming from my ears.  Or maybe I was gazing off slack jawed.  Maybe my face said nothing at all.  But my mind, my mind.  My mind was all rapid fire thoughts of compounding fury and anger.  It began small and guilty; a little confused then it grew entirely out of control. What is wrong with what I'm wearing?  I just bought this dress, like, two months ago.  I know it isn't anything fancy but it is clean.  There are no stains or holes or even pills anywhere on this dress so your usual insults about my hobo style don't hold any water today, my friend, and besides, if you want me to wear nicer clothing you're going to have to fork over more money Buddy.  Its not easy or cheap to keep six people clothed these days, Mister .  I don't even need a bunch of great nice clothes.  I rarely even leave the house!   I've worn this particular dress about a million times in front of you!  What is the big deal today? I'll give you that it is a little low cut BUT I have a tank top on underneath it.  No one can see anything.  No one is looking at me anyway.  How much trouble can I get into from our front door to the neighbor's house you crazy, jealous, jerk.  For Pete's sake I am your wife not your prisoner.   Even if I was your prisoner you've got four children doing a fine job of guarding me!  I'm never alone!  Although you SHOULD trust me.  Twelve years!  Twelve years I've been a faithful wife and now I can't even take a simple walk in a glorified T-shirt of a dress!!  My train of thought had reached full steam in the moment that had passed and it was about to stop at Homicide Station when Ariel spoke again.

     He simply said, "Your dress is on inside out".


Monday, September 10, 2012

Start 'Em Early

 Ten months old and Dorothy is already lending Daddy a hand with the bathroom remuddle.
I'm sure sure if you check infant development charts you'll find installing tile and grout at about the 
ten month point.  You know, give or take a month.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

A New Hobby

     Clara is entering a photo contest being held by the children's magazine her grandmother gave her a subscription to.  I think this is a great idea so I let her use my camera to snap a few pictures even though Ariel told me when he gave me the camera that I was not, not, not allowed to let the children touch this camera no matter what because this is the third camera he has had to buy me since Enzo was born and cameras aren't toys and they don't grow on trees, yadda, yadda, yadda.  Last night I was looking through the pictures she took and had to laugh when I found this:

     This is NOT our house.  Ariel asked what was so funny and rather than come off as a total loon laughing at nothing I confessed to my crime of lending Clara my camera and shared with him how she was using the zoom to be a Peeping Tom.  Instead of being mad at me Ariel was relieved.  "She's entering a photography contest?" he asked.  "I guess that explains why I found about a hundred and fifty pictures of Mrs. Salt and Mr. Pepper (our shakers) on my cell phone.  I saw them and had no idea how they got there!"

     I don't know if our Claire Bear has a chance at winning this contest but I think her photography phase will bring us Joneses some excellent entertainment and that is good enough for me!