It all started about a year back when I would randomly notice this jerk in my back yard. I'm a sissy and I despise confrontation, so I'd just pretend not to notice him and hope he'd go away. Then I spoke with my neighbors who mentioned seeing him sitting on their front porch. It all really became too much though when I took Aston into the bathroom for his morning pee and glanced into the bathtub while lifting the toilet seat and saw him sitting IN THE TUB just smiling up at me. I was so freaked out I just backed Aston out of the bathroom, shut the door, and had Aston pee in the front yard as I loaded up the other kids in the van to get the heck out of dodge while Ariel obeyed my wishes and called for professional help even though he was feeling particularly heroic that morning and really wanted to throw the bum out himself.
Ariel stayed in the house while the villain was removed. I guess the men who came to our rescue had a bit of a time getting him out. He put up a good fight and even relieved himself in the very bathtub where my precious children take their tubbies. Am I crazy, or is it outrageous that this creature has the nerve to darken my doorstep after all of that? I was quite surprised to see him back again and rather regret that he was let go with a mere slap on the wrists last summer. I wonder what lengths I will have to go to to get the point through his thick skull. You're Not Wanted Here!!!!!
|There he is|
just sitting in my tub
like he can!