Tuesday, February 12, 2013

High Apple Pie In The Sky Hopes

     Enzo chose dinner time to ask Ariel and me if we have money set aside for his college education.  Since our money is really Ariel's money I figured I'd let him answer this question while I entertained myself with a snarkey, "We don't have money set aside for next weeks groceries", in my head.  After giving myself a well deserved chuckle I turned my attention to my beloved who clearly hadn't expected this question from a boy who had propositioned his fifth grade math teacher to perform teacher assisted suicide so he wouldn't have to do any more work.  Truth be told, I didn't expect Enzo to bring up college either.  Someone must have put the idea in his head.  I could see that Ariel was about to tell the child that we do not have money set aside for his further education and I was not about to have Enzo and/or whoever put this idea in his head, worrying about something so far in the future so I quickly interjected, "Daddy invested (and by "invested", Dear Reader, I meant took full advantage of the banks liberal lending of days gone by) in real estate.  We don't have a pile of cash to pay your college tuition BUT we can just sell Daddy's houses when the time comes" (and then, Dear Reader, we'll pray we have enough equity to cover the gas required to drive him to the closest community college).  At this, I watched Ariel choke on his macaroni and cheese because he, of course, plans to use his rentals as his retirement.  Whatever!  I was already used to the idea of my college degree holding children and nothing was going to stop me.

     When Ariel regained the ability to breathe he said, "Son, when the time comes we'll figure out a way for you to go to college".  I could tell Ariel was also now the proud parent of future college graduates.  Enzo started going on about going to college to learn how to work with computers and design web sites when Aston squeaked, "Mom. Dad.  Can I quit college?"

     "What?"

     "Can I quit college?"

     Sigh "Yeah, Aston.  You can do what ever you want".

     "HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!  I CAN QUIT COLLEGE!!!!!!!!!"

    Well,  the upside of  Aston dropping out of college at the age of five, I suppose,  is that Ariel can hold on to his dream of retiring, ever.

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