Penis Envy

     I've often heard that it isn't healthy to strive to be a perfect mother.  That you should settle instead for the title of good enough mother.  As I'm sure my children will tell their therapists some day, I doubt I've even achieved the latter.  I'm not completely clueless about my field though.  In my decade as Mom I have picked up a few things.  One thing, for example, is that if you have a to do list and you have managed to accomplish any of it you can be sure that your children are currently up to no good.  A clean bedroom equals a new mural in the baby to be's nursery; a clean bathroom means your kid is mostly bald in the front; you really don't want to organize your coat closet if you frown upon a thirty pound child consuming the entire contents of your sugar bowl; AND if you are finally washing the last dish that has been hanging out in your sink for who knows how long your baby girl has her own ideas about toilet training.  She is tired of having you fuss with her diaper tape.  She doesn't want to take her pants off.  She hates that chilly toilet seat.  As you are elbow deep in bacon grease she is trying out a new trick she saw her brothers doing...

Heaven help me.