Wednesday, December 19, 2012

4:17 am Wednesday, December 19, 2012 OR I've Finally F-ing Lost It

     Night time sharpens
heightens each sensation
Darkness stirs
and wakes imagination

     Or something like that.  You can't expect me to remember every lyric to every musical when I haven't been a practicing thespian for well over a decade.  Whatever the lyric may be I sure hope the sentiment is correct and
When the dawn comes
tonight will be a memory too

 because if Mr. Sun, Sun. Mister Golden Sun wakes up and I'm still a hot mess there is going to be a problem.

      I'm technically awake because after nursing me bone dry Dorothy still insisted on fussing so I changed her diaper.  The diaper was the ticket and she was asleep before I had the second tape fastened but I was out of bed and could no longer pretend that the icicles forming around my nostrils were either intentional or cool (WOW.  Lame play on words, Mrs. Jones!  Do NOT write before sun up any more.) so I scampered off to check and make sure both wood stoves were out and cold to the touch.  I was not disappointed.  That isn't really why I'm awake though.  I'm awake because while changing Dottie's diapie (say THAT ten times, fast) a thought popped into this pretty little head of mine.  Well, it was more of a thought rapid fire, which those of you who read my Train of Thought know this kind of through process happens to me quite often.  This morning the thoughts were:
A) A whole bunch of families are saying good bye to loved ones because some ding-a-ling shot/stabbed/blew up their someone special.
B) A child brought a knife into my children's elementary school and I know the principal (whom I really like) sent home a letter telling us that no one was ever in real danger but how can she KNOW that?
C) Remember last week when Clara came home going on about Julian M. told Claire V. that he was going to bring a knife to school and kill her?  Remember how you told your daughter that was nonsense and nothing was going to happen?  How can YOU KNOW that? (and isn't it cute when kids use last initials when referring to each other?)
D) There are people out there that BELIEVE the world is going to end this Friday.  What are they capable of?

     The only shred of sanity I'm clinging to is a darling little invitation I received when turning on the computer. Aston has been invited to play Hot Wheels with his "First Friend" (Astonese for Best Friend) this weekend.  That is the world I want to live in.  Little laughing boys and Hot Wheels and the highest level of dysfunction achieved being the fact that the one boy is the son of the other boy's half brother's half brother.  That is really all I can take.

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