Ariel ran out of materials on a job midday so he came home. I am pleased to say that after spending half of our lives together I am still thrilled when I see his truck pull in the driveway. We shared a simple conversation about our mornings. He told me about work. I told him about taking the baby for a walk. I had wanted to go for a good long walk, it was such a perfect day, but she fell asleep so quickly and I'm so backed up on house work that I only made it to the neighbor's house before turning around to come home.
"Like that?" Ariel asked, looking at my attire.
"Yes" I said. That yes was like a gun shot beginning a race of thoughts in my mind. I stood there silently, maybe I looked furious ( I certainly felt that way), maybe there were puffs of smoke coming from my ears. Or maybe I was gazing off slack jawed. Maybe my face said nothing at all. But my mind, my mind. My mind was all rapid fire thoughts of compounding fury and anger. It began small and guilty; a little confused then it grew entirely out of control. What is wrong with what I'm wearing? I just bought this dress, like, two months ago. I know it isn't anything fancy but it is clean. There are no stains or holes or even pills anywhere on this dress so your usual insults about my hobo style don't hold any water today, my friend, and besides, if you want me to wear nicer clothing you're going to have to fork over more money Buddy. Its not easy or cheap to keep six people clothed these days, Mister . I don't even need a bunch of great nice clothes. I rarely even leave the house! I've worn this particular dress about a million times in front of you! What is the big deal today? I'll give you that it is a little low cut BUT I have a tank top on underneath it. No one can see anything. No one is looking at me anyway. How much trouble can I get into from our front door to the neighbor's house you crazy, jealous, jerk. For Pete's sake I am your wife not your prisoner. Even if I was your prisoner you've got four children doing a fine job of guarding me! I'm never alone! Although you SHOULD trust me. Twelve years! Twelve years I've been a faithful wife and now I can't even take a simple walk in a glorified T-shirt of a dress!! My train of thought had reached full steam in the moment that had passed and it was about to stop at Homicide Station when Ariel spoke again.
He simply said, "Your dress is on inside out".